You might recognize The Coquette and her bare-knuckle honesty from her columns on Playboy.com, The Daily, or her own popular site, My girlfriend lies to me. Your girlfriend is a functioning alcoholic, and she's lying because alcoholics lie. Of course, you're asking about petty bullshit while playing down the glaringly obvious problem ("She always smells like booze") because you're an enabler. This isn't an easy thing to hear, so let me tell you what's likely to happen next: Nothing.
She works until 11 but sometimes has to stay after for prep/clean. You won't say anything to upset the delicate balance, and she'll continue drinking and lying.
Monitoring Someone's Behavior Observing Body Language Assessing the Person's Risk Factors Community Q&A A pathological liar is someone who compulsively tells lies or fabricates information.
Women are catching men up in the alcohol dependency stakes. As ‘he’ no doubt keeps pointing out, there are times when he can drink and not get drunk.
She doesn't get home from work until or later though. She walks in the door saying, "What a long day, had to clean blah blah, the alcohol reps were in tonight or they gave us a couple beers to stay late…" There have been a few times where people have mentioned to me that they saw her out at a bar or something when she was telling me she was at work. We have a really mellow and open relationship so she can't be cheating on me. Eventually, her lies will grow from little and white into something bigger and considerably more shady. There's always another slow motion train wreck waiting around the corner for a "mellow and open" enabler like you.
The problem that I'm having is, I don't care if she goes out for drinks after work with her friends, I do that too. There is absolutely no reason, whatsoever, for her to lie. She will betray your trust in some manner that you finally deem unforgivable, and it will cause the relationship to dissolve. I imagine in a decade, you'll have quite a few of your exes calling you out of the blue to apologize as part of their ninth step.
Learning, believing and not wavering from the facts about addiction is the first step to learning to trust yourself.
My therapist once said: “If you have family members who are alcoholics, you have no choice but to stand by them.