As I thought about what precipitates a second date, I decided to call in reinforcements. If I am not completely enamored with someone on the first date, I cannot bring myself to see him again. However, after years of asking men and women about dating, I know that in this I am the exception.To see how women as a group (not simply my own opinion) feel about what is necessary for a man to get to see us again, I hit the streets.This kind of trade-off takes some time to establish.My advice is that a second date should not be exclusively about one partner’s hobbies.I therefore recommend you establish if possible a Saturday or Sunday lunchtime to meet so that you can combine a coffee or light lunch with a walk in the park or on the beach, maybe throw a ball about or go to a sporting occasion. A second date is too early for theater or movies because you must communicate a lot at this stage.
In established relationships, partners often take turns focusing on one person’s interests, then the other’s.
Book shops, browsing, a market, antique stalls, a sport, a club, a shopping trip. But as you both feel you need to seek out some further intimacy a lunchtime meeting can extend throughout the afternoon and into evening, depending on how you feel about one another. A weekend afternoon lends itself to ebbs and flows, you can talk openly at a cafe table and then walk and feel how it is to walk next to your date.
There may be the opportunity to hold hands or create spontaneous entertainment or even a small first kiss. Allow things to flow but don't leave things so open ended that you appear hanging around as if you have nothing better to do. Once again, although your conversation on this second date will have more substance and credence to it, you should still shy away from discussing anything about ex relationships and sex.
Since you don’t know this person and aren’t emotionally invested yet, there’s very little at stake.
It’s easy to be light and breezy when you’re talking about standard getting-to-know-you topics.