Now, I’m really terrible at tweeting because I’ve got bad grammar and can hardly fuckin’ spell and I’m a moron and I don’t know the difference between their and there, and that type of bullshit.But the funny thing is, whenever I tweet something I think is kind of poignant, one of your fans will weasel up to me and go, “Well, Anthony already said it better.” And you’re like, “Fuck off, cunt.” Yeah, I own that now.Jeselnik also has a weekly series coming to Comedy Central February 19th called. The bonus features include Jeselnik’s uncut performances from the “COMEDY CENTRAL Roast of Donald Trump,” the “COMEDY CENTRAL Roast of Charlie Sheen,” and the “COMEDY CENTRAL Roast of Roseanne.” You can also check out his special on Xbox, Playstation, i Tunes, and Vudu.Anthony called me Wednesday to discuss his one hour special, the pressure of being the new guy on the roasts, writing for .Sometimes from the shove, I'd trip over something and fall, and get hurt." She says Dan "felt terrible" after these alleged altercations and she told herself that these bruises were "accidents." In addition to the shoving, Schumer says her then-boyfriend also often criticized her looks.Schumer says Dan's most violent outburst occurred when he pushed her onto the hood of a parked car and she banged her head and elbow.' I didn't believe Comedy Central was going to give me a show, but I was like, 'I'll give them a talk show 'cause that's what they're looking for.' Then we just had too much wine— Jessi Klein (Amy's BFF/executive producer/head writer) and I—and it was like a drunk special moment where we were like, 'F*ck it, we can just make whatever we want.' So you wouldn't want Jimmy Fallon's old That's something that I can see myself being really interested in down the road. How much of that is based on your real life versus just part of your act? Or say something that could be harmful to him or make him look stupid. I joke that in my entire life, I've been in the same room with him maybe four times. It's not like, 'Oh Uncle Chuck's here, what did get me for Hannukkah?
They were starting out, so it was easier for me to get in there.
I have not had sex with them because I kind of knew I wasn't ready. I think I can be open about wanting to get better ratings than him, yeah!
I'm not like this Samantha who is like, 'I just wanna f*ck!
I don't have tons of sex, not that theres anything wrong with anyone who does. Since college, when I'm single for six months I'll hook up with two guys, maybe have sex with one of them? But I could mask a joke, and say, 'A couple of years ago I was dating this guy'... We're almost a month into it (the breakup) so it's still very new. You've sort of hinted that you're not such a workaholic that you don't want to get married and have kids some day.
I think everyone has different opinions of what is slutty but I actually don't feel defined by that stuff at all. My ex (comedian Anthony Jeselnik) and I, we broke up like a month ago and I have not had sex with anybody, but I've made out with two guys. It is pretty crazy that both you and Anthony Jeselnik have new Comedy Central shows and are both really having a moment in your careers at the exact same time. I joked about it on Stern that I think Comedy Central is doing an experiment to see if we're going to murder each other. His show's () last episode aired last week and then mine is starting in the exact same time slot. Are you secretly hoping you get better ratings than he did? I'm alone on the road a lot and it's really hard and some days I'm like, 'It would be really nice to cuddle with my boyfriend right now and not be out pushing so hard and trying to get better at stand up.' I hope one day I can slow down and have all of those things but right now it just feels like I should be working hard.